When I wrote this tweet in October 2019, I wasn’t actually being serious:

I arrived home after Chinese New Year for what I assumed would be a couple of weeks. I assumed the word ‘Coronavirus’ would fade from memory very quickly and I’d be reunited with my students in a timely fashion.

This was not the case. A few weeks passed, then a few weeks more, then months. The Coronavirus hadn’t faded from memory; if anything, it had grown.

We, as Western society watched, perhaps a little smug: “that won’t happen to us. Asia is so different from us, it won’t affect here.” We watched it spread to Thailand, Japan, the Philippines and, of course, all over mainland China. We watched Asian countries restrict flights to China. We even watched some of our own airlines cancel flights to these countries. We sat back and believed we were invincible from it. Then suddenly, cases appeared in the US, Spain, Australia, Sweden. Finally, the news we anticipated arrived: the Corona virus had spread to the UK. Nowhere was safe. And everything got a little scarier.

Now, for the common lay person the Corona virus will not interfere with their life in any way – even for me, I am dramatising these events but I think very little of the virus even though I have students, work colleagues and friends back in Beijing who are living in this lockdown nightmare. But, when flights are being cancelled, quarantines are imposed and with the infamous cruise ship fiasco, one can’t escape a single day without hearing about the virus on the news. My parents had planned to flight to Beijing in April to visit me for a few weeks and their flights have already been cancelled. And that’s in April. This virus is a really big deal.

So, of course, I’m glad I’m home and out of the situation. I can go outside and breath in the fresh air (air quality sits nicely at 17 and I embrace it as much as I can); I can interact with people without a mask on; I can cough in the comfort of my own home without worrying a neighbour is going to call the police and tell them I’m infected and I’ll be dragged kicking and screaming into quarantine.

And, of course, as I hadn’t told my parents I was coming home, their reactions were worth every single second of the 23 hour commute home:

The first couple of weeks at home were great. Very relaxing and chilled. By the end of it, I was ready to go back. Ready to return to teaching, I’d even started thinking about my lessons for the next semester. But then the virus just seemed to get worse and worse. Instead of schools starting back at the start of February, it was pushed till the middle of February, then the start of March and now… who knows? My future in Beijing is looking sketchy right now because I simply don’t know when I’ll be allowed to go back. I want to go back, I want to finish the experience I started. My suitcase has been sitting packed for the last two weeks but the reality is: everyone keeps telling me not to come back yet but nobody knows how long ‘yet’ is. The virus is taking over everything.

Really, I enjoyed my experience there and I have every intention of going back but I feel every week that passes, I genuinely don’t know when this Corona virus ‘thing’ is going to end. I feel sad at the possibility that my experience could be cut short but it’s a catch 22. I could return to China and be quarantined for a few weeks, I could return to China and my school may not open for months (and I’m on skeleton pay) I could return to China and catch the Corona virus (very unlikely I know but let’s look at every possibility). Then on the other side, I could stay in Scotland and return to the status quo I was so desperate to get away from. I could stay in Scotland and aimlessly slither without any real direction until I took the first job I could find and be miserable for the rest of my life just because the pay was decent and it gave me a sense of purpose.

I’m, of course, not going to do that. I may be a little lost in the direction of my life right now but I’m refusing to let myself fall into a slump.

So I’m going to let fate decide. I will apply for jobs in Scotland (and other countries – Italia I’m looking at you) whilst I wait to hear back from my school. Whichever I hear from first will be the path that I will take. In the meantime, I am embracing this period of not working. I am desperate to get back to feeling productive but I keep reminding myself this is never going to happen again. I have had a job since I pretty much turned 16 (13 if you count my days doing the Avon haha) I have never went this long without working. I should embrace it, enjoy it. Many people would kill for this opportunity.

The direction of this blog is a bit muddled, a bit senseless and without real purpose and I suppose that represents me a little bit right now. I don’t really know what direction I’m going in and it makes me anxious that by the time I write my next blog, I will have decided my future about China. I took a huge risk moving to Beijing and it seems so sad that it could possibly be cut short due to something so outwith my control but I have some memories to keep me content. Celebrating Chinese New Year at school and getting my hair pinned up with ribbons whilst my colleagues and I danced around with a dragon is something that will always stay with me- whether or not I go back.

THANK YOU so much for all the lovely messages about my first blog post since moving to China 💗 When I decided to post about moving to China I really didn’t think people would enjoy hearing about my experiences so much.
Friends and family were asking me about a second post and what I would write about but I literally had no clue so a few different people threw suggestions at me.

Now there was talk that I should write a post talking about all the dates I’d been on since I arrived (note: being a ‘Western girl’ in China has been really great for my already overly inflated ego). That was nearly a reality – with a rating out of 10 and all! But then I figured that would be a lil cruel since most of the guys I’ve been on dates with have been lovely and did not deserve that. So I opted for my mums suggestion (mother knows best). Probably tired of hearing me talk about what I did at school that day, she told me to write it into my next blog.

So, the main message you’ll get from this instalment is that routine is everything. My kids are 4/5 years old and consistency is key. Basically every day, almost to the minute, is the same as the day before. It can be a little bit annoying and some days I just wanna scream “NO today we will have snack at 10.05 instead of 10.10!” But I don’t. Mostly because no one would listen to me anyway.

So here it is. A very detailed description of what I do every single school day. (NB: the words pee pee and drink water appear a lot because – apparently – if kids aren’t reminded five times a day to do these things they will either pee themselves or die of dehydration).

7.45: arrive at school. Clock in. Clocking in involves scanning your finger print which means they can always tell if you are late. For every minute you are late, you are fined 1 RMB. (Note: this applies even if you are genuinely in school but just forget to scan your fingerprint) Strict AF. Set up for the day. Sometimes this will involve writing some things on the whiteboard or setting up the smart board. Sometimes (lately) it just involves me sitting staring at me phone for 15 minutes. There’s a child in my class – Matilda – and her mum works at the school so she always arrives early and she LOVES Bailey dog so occasionally we just sit and look at pictures or videos of Bailey or play with the soft toy version of Bailey I brought with me to China. (Note: The kids in my class worship this toy dog. Sometimes I will hear cries of “where is The Bailey?” when they notice that I’ve put him away in the cupboard for safekeeping. They like him to be on display in the classroom but I don’t trust one of them not to slide him into their bag when I’m not looking (this has already happened more than once.))

8.00-9.00: kids start to arrive at school and have breakfast. Breakfast is usually some form of dumplings with meat inside them. And noodle soup. Revolting for persons like me who believes strongly that dinner food should never be eaten for breakfast. Each child has to be greeted as soon as they take one foot in the door. Seriously, if neither the English or Chinese teacher is there most parents will wait outside the classroom and refuse to enter until one of us comes outside to greet them.
Routine: say “Good Morning” to the child. Say it louder when they ignore you. Get down to eye level with them and say it again. Say it in Chinese if necessary. If you get a reply at this stage, you are having a good day. When kids finish breakfast, English teacher is supposed to try to engage them with a craft . Usually, this flops and I just sit with them whilst they play their own games. One of their favourite games is restaurant which is when I sit at a table and they bring me over fake food and I pretend to eat it. Sometimes they try to make me actually eat it.

9.00: play “tidy up” song (basically a remix of the lion sleeps tonight). Kids tidy up and line up (not as easy as it sounds, involves lots of noise and pushing). Announce kids who are on ‘duty’ that day. Duties involve: watching the other kids wash their hands to make sure they do it correctly (yes, seriously. And let me tell you- this is the Gucci of jobs), giving out plates at lunch and dinner, giving out chopsticks, cleaning the table when everyone is finished (the most undesired job, naturally).
Then kids go to the bathroom to “pee-pee and wash hands”. Boys always go first because they are so loud and I want them out of earshot. Stand with girls and sing a song/dance/go crazy for five minutes. Send girls to bathroom to “pee-pee and wash hands”. Everyone trickles back in and is supposed to drink water and sit down. This never happens. My kids have constant ants in their pants.

9.15: English lesson is supposed to start.

9.25-9.30: English lesson usually starts. Many kids are still filtering back from the bathroom and drinking water.

930-10.10: English lesson usually consists of a warm up activity to settle them down, a song to engage them, the actual lesson and then a game/activity sheet. Activity sheets are good because it gives you the chance to question students individually on the lesson. Bad because they usually involve pens/scissors/glue/etc and this is disastrous. A few weeks ago I turned my back on a table for about four seconds and one student stabbed the other near the eye with a pen. There wasn’t even any malice, this is truly just how the boys in my class interact with one another. There was blood, a visit to the nurse and photographs of the ‘victim.’
I find that group activities work better with my students because I make them sit in a semi-circle around me and usually this means I can keep at least half of their attentions. At the very least, you can intervene before a stabbing incident occurs.
During this time, I have at least three naughty kids running riot round the classroom, jumping on tables, running outside or just generally causing chaos. The Chinese teachers help manage these children as best they can but for the most part, we just ignore them and *hope* one of them injures themselves.

10.10: children break. By this time their attention span has evaporated. And it’s time for another instalment of “pee-pee and wash hands”. After this, drink water. Then they line up to get their snack which is placed in large bowls for each child to take themselves. Usually yogurt or milk, fruit and some nuts. I guard the food to make sure they speak English during these interactions. I ask them “what do you want?” And they reply “I want banana” or “I want dragon fruit”. A few of the boys think it’s hilarious to say “I want Coca Cola” instead of “I want milk.” Some days (Friday’s) I will humour them and laugh. Other days (usually Tuesdays) I accidentally miss their cup and spill some of the milk on the floor. Then I make them go clean it up.
When they get nuts as a snack, they have to ask how many they are allowed to take.
“How many nuts?” they ask.
“Two” I reply.
They take four.

10.30: Depending on pollution levels that day, we can go outside to the playground. They have to change their shoes, tuck in their clothes, put their jackets on and line up. Definitely not as straight forward as it sounds. Some kids get ready in about 4 seconds, others take about 4 hours. There’s always lots of noise. Sometimes I threaten that if they don’t be quiet, we won’t go outside. It’s an empty threat cause if we didn’t go outside I’d have to do something in the classroom and that is much more work for me.
When outside, they usually dance for a few minutes then play an English game like sharks and fishes, duck duck goose etc. Sometimes I throw down some hula hoops and make them line up and jump through the hoops in a mini assault course. {They are 4 years old, as long as they’re moving, they’re happy}.
Sometimes, they play in the jungle gym area. Before they go on it, I tell them the rules: no kicking, no punching, no fighting, no running, no screaming. They recite it back to me. “Ok, go.” I announce.
They run towards the play area screaming at the top of their lunges and start fighting over who gets on the shoot first. In the first five minutes, a child cries because Edison has punched him. Another ends up with a black eye when Mia accidentally kicks her on the swing.
(side note: if the pollution is bad the children remain in the classroom and we play indoor games which usually consists of musical chairs, musical statutes or *ahem* musical bumps. Recently, in the lead up to Christmas the pollution has been really bad so the kids have been doing a lot of Christmas carol singing and Christmas crafts in the classroom. We have a Christmas tree which I was told I had to let them help decorate. This was the end result:

11.00: kids return to the class. They remove their shoes and jackets. Then “pee-pee and wash hands”, drink water and sit down. I actually enjoy this part of the day as it’s much more relaxed. The kids are starting to get tired. I read them a story whilst their lunch is getting prepared. Recently, I’ve been rotating between the Three Little Pigs and Jack and the Beanstalk. The kids actually do really get into it. Last week I tried “There was an Old Lady who swallowed a Fly” but they didn’t like that because the Old Lady dies in the end. I told them to grow up.

11.15: time to eat lunch. There’s a few kids in my lunch (Candy, Freedom and Louis (pronounced Lewis no matter how much I try to tell the Chinese teachers the spelling is wrong) who absolutely inhale their food and are finished at about 11.17. Other kids (Sophie, Matilda and Max) would still be eating Monday’s lunch today if they were allowed. It’s a weird balance. Sometimes the kids ask for more. You ask them “What do you want?” and they are supposed to say “I want soup” or “I want rice”. What actually happens is the kid shouts “I want soup” from the moment you ask them what they want until the moment the soup is placed in front of them. Just in case you forget to give them it, I suppose.

11.40: the kids have what is called “walking time” which I think is the most stupid thing ever but hey ho. Basically, they walk around the corridor to empty their stomach after lunch. We walk outside the classroom for about 5 minutes and are supposed to sing songs or review vocabulary. My kids are so bad and always end up fighting, pushing, screaming, etc. It usually ends with me making them march on the spot because they physically can’t walk properly.

11.45: NAP TIME. Beds are set up in the classroom. The kids wear pyjamas under their normal clothes. They get ready for bed. The curtains are drawn. The lights are turned off. The kids are supposed to sleep. I imagine this is a difficult job to get them to settle but luckily, this is the Chinese teachers job and my job is only to say goodnight sleep tight hope the bed bugs bite.

12.00-14.00: lunchtime for us whilst the kids sleep. I eat lunch with the other teachers and we moan about the kids then go to gym or do errands, etc.

14.00-14.30: return to school, prepare for lessons, etc. Last week we had to put up the school Christmas tree and decorations. Safe to say it turned out a lot better than my classroom tree:

1430: return to classroom. Wake children up. Help them get dressed. Send them to toilet to pee-pee and wash hands. Toilet monitor is on duty. Then they drink water and have a snack.

15.00-16.00: Chinese lessons. I support Chinese teachers which usually means I try to get the naughty children to sit down/be quiet/go away.

16.00-16.15: children pee-pee and wash hands then they drink water. Chinese teacher usually reads them a story or they sing a song, etc.

16.15: dinner is served. Children such as Candy, Freedom and Louis are finished at 16.17.

1635: most children are usually finished dinner by now. The Chinese teachers and I take turns to entertain the children. Mostly, I’ve been getting them to sing their Christmas carols because they have a performance in a few weeks and really need to practice.

16.50: the children line up, get their bags and jackets etc. We walk them out to meet their parents.

17.00: all children are supposed to be gone but there is always parents who are late. Sit with children until their parents arrive, play a game or read a story.

until 17.30: prep for tomorrow’s lessons, send homework home via social media (WeChat) for the parents, print stuff off from the computer, hide in the staff room until it’s time to leave.

1730: on the dot. Swipe fingerprint. Goodbye bambino’s, see you tomorrow.

Well there you have it. The day in the life of an ESL kindergarten teacher. The general structure of my day very rarely changes. There may be times when an event superseeds the lesson (e.g. on Thanksgiving, the school had a thanksgiving feast so there was no Chinese lessons in the afternoon). But it doesn’t change anything because even after all the food they consumed, the kids still had their dinner at 4.15 as normal. Sometimes an event will encompass English time such as a couple of weeks ago we had “story telling” where each kid got up to say a story they had learned at home in English. Here’s one of my kids telling a story. Don’t be fooled tho, they were not all this good. (Also don’t be fooled by Edison, before this performance he had probably punched one of the other kids or spat on a puppy):

So yeah, apart from events like that, the day rarely changes. “Pee-pee and wash hands” has become such an intergral part of my vocabulary. I wake up in the morning and tell myself “Ok Jess now it’s time for you to get out of bed, pee pee then wash hands.” Expecting at least one of my kids to go to the nurses office every day is routine. Asking Tommy to sit down twelve times a minute is standard. It’s weird because I kind of love it, kind of hate it. Sometimes I hate the babysitting aspects of the job eg helping kids get ready for bed but sometimes when a child arrives in the morning and screams “JESSICA” and runs to give me a big hug, I find myself wondering if it’s all that bad. Then sometimes I’ll ask my kids a question about the lesson and 90% of them will know it and it will feel almost like a Eureka moment where I think I am the greatest teacher to ever walk this earth. Other times, I’ll be trying to ingrain into their brains “I am from China” only to be met with crickets when I ask the whole class “where are you from?”

I applaud many of my collegues who have been doing the job for much longer than I. For some, they have been there for 6-7 years and I wonder how they do it. Time passes so quickly here and the money is good and the lifestyle is good. But, I am certain that teaching kindergarten is not my future career. I love singing songs and acting silly with them. I even love teaching them English. But I can’t imagine being an ‘adult’ with a bunch of real grown up responsibilities congratulating a child because they remembered to wash their hands after they had been for a pee pee.